California Cancels Thanksgiving, but keeps BLM Protests/ACB Orders Handmaid’s Outfits, and Democrats Propose More Coyotes News Show 10.30.2020

Released October 30, 2020 by The Babylon Bee

 

This is The Babylon Bee Weekly News Show for the week of 10/30/2020. In this Spooky episode of The Babylon Bee Podcast, Kyle and Ethan talk about the Babylon Bee being mentioned at the Senate hearings and the week’s top stories like another amazing Guinness World Record that Kyle gets so excited about, ACB ordering all Nation’s Women to Wear Handmaid’s Outfits, Democrats Proposing to stop Coyotes by distracting them with Decoy Roadrunners, and after Thanksgiving being banned, Californians turning to Turkey Barbecues in Honor of Black Lives Matter. Kyle and Ethan also share their favorite Horror Movies, TV Shows, and Books all in time for you to enjoy them before Halloween. Tune in for more weird news, cool stories, a trip to the mailbag and, of course, glorious hate mail. Be sure to check out The Babylon Bee YouTube Channel for more podcasts, podcast shorts, animation, and more. To watch or listen to the full podcast, become a subscriber at https://babylonbee.com/plans. This episode is brought to you by Small Group The Movie. Introduction Kyle and Ethan joke about Jack Dorsey dressing as a homeless man during his remote senate hearings and being referenced at the Senate hearings.  Stuff That’s Good Kyle likes Geeks Under Grace Ethan likes Flor De Selva cigars Weird News   World’s longest gum wrapper chain created by 70 year old retired teacher   He began the feat back in 1965, which is when Gum chains were quite popular Gary’s record breaking chain came in at a mind boggling 106,810 ft.  Gary says as someone with no special skills that he has to do a lot of hard work in order to succeed in getting a world record   Woman allegedly posed as prosecutor, dropped charges against herself    Lisa Landon used the state’s electronic system to drop the charges and submitted fake documents in three separate criminal cases last year. A forensic examiner who was supposed to perform a competency evaluation on her, noticed the charges were dropped.  Landon also falsified a judge’s decision to waive a filing fee and faked an order in a child custody case involving her child and a family member   Police ID pastor accused of urinating on female Delta passenger: ‘He peed on me!’   According to the passenger named Alicia Beverly, told police she woke up on the plane around 2:45am to find a man urinating on her.  After Beverly yelled ‘He peed on me,’ the Pastor said “I peed on her, I thought I was going to the bathroom”   ‘Big Pile’ of eels dumped in NYC park; impact not yet known   After dumping the eels in the lake, the man walked away, explaining to bystanders that “I just want to save lives” New York has a long history of people releasing animals. In 1890, Shakespeare enthusiasts released a flock of 60 European starlings(birds) that destroyed crops and snarl jet engines    California billionaire Bill Gross accused of blaring ‘Gilligan’s Island’ theme song on loop at his neighbor   Gross was frustrated that he was forced by the city to take down a series of lighting and netting that blocked the neighbors view.  The neighbor told Gross to turn the music down and he responded “Peace on all fronts or we’ll just have nightly concerts big boy”   Prescription drugs reported in children’s Halloween candy after California event    At a trunk or treat where kids would get candy through their windows, Police reported that a mother called after she found a resealable plastic bag with four blue pills and a white tablet in her child’s bag of candy Recommended to parents to go through their children’s candy piece by piece before they eat any of it    Headless horseman brings music, double-takes to Concord, MA Man rides bicycle with no hands playing guitar while in a headless horseman costume Bicyclist says he has started to play the trumpet instead of the guitar on some days He has fallen, he said, but no serious falls as the headless horseman though    Story 1 Newly Sworn-In ACB Immediately Orders All Nation's Women To Wear Handmaid's Outfit Summary:WASHINGTON, D.C.—After being sworn in as a Supreme Court justice, Amy Coney Barrett immediately issued a decree that all women are to wear red handmaid's outfits for the rest of their lives. "Execute papal order 66," she said, her eyes glowing red. "Implement the theocratic state." ACB was confirmed on a party line vote in the Senate 52-48 with only one Republican Susan Collins voting NO. 'No': Graham Shuts Down Democrats' Attempts to Delay ACB Vote Graham says that after what they did to Kavanaugh he is a changed man and didn’t seem to have any tolerance for what they were trying to do. Democrat Harry Reid got rid of the rule requiring a supermajority to end debate over a nominee in 2013 so these narrow votes are able to get through. Story 2   Democrats Propose Stopping Coyotes By Distracting Them With Decoy Roadrunners Summary: After Trump brought attention to the coyote epidemic at the southern border during the debates, Democrats on Twitter are offering unique solutions to the problem, such as setting up decoy roadrunners to distract the coyotes. Trump brought up coyotes bringing immigrants over the border. Liberals freaked out on Twitter and it was hilarious. https://twitter.com/SophNar0747/status/1319524700721192967 USA Today Factcheck: Fact check: Trump did not mean actual 'coyotes' take children across the border A "coyote," also known as "el coyote" is a term for people who smuggle others across borders in exchange for payment. Story 3 After Thanksgiving Banned, Californians To Hold Turkey Barbecues In Honor Of Black Lives Matter On November 26 Summary: CALIFORNIA—Gavin Newsom has effectively banned Thanksgiving from California, requiring celebrating households to have only a few people, no bathroom usage, two-hour maximums, and individual plates. Californians all announced they are complying with the plan and instead of celebrating Thanksgiving will be holding Black Lives Matter turkey barbecues scheduled, coincidentally, for November 26.  Topic of the Week Scary Stuff We Like Ethan:  Movies:  Exorcism of Emily Rose  Evil Dead 2 and Army of Darkness Bad Taste, Dead Alive (Braindead) The Babadook Troll 2 Birdemic the Thing (Kurt Russell) Get Out Shaun of the Dead Gremlins Spielberg’s War of the Worlds The Monster Squad Riki Oh Dead Heat Books:  Brave Ollie Possum! Babylon Bee Writers recommend the Cat which has a kung fu fight between a cat and dog Kyle: Movies:  New Blumhouse series - The Lie, Black Box, Nocturne, Evil Eye. It Follows The Witch Misery The Shining Cabin in the Woods Happy Death Day Alien Get Out The Invisible Man A Quiet Place 2017’s It Zombieland Color Out of Space 1922 Doctor Sleep Black Sheep  Books: The Shining Pet Sematary Misery Salem’s Lot Frankenstein Something Wicked This Way Comes Carrie Lovecraft: At the Mountains of Madness, The Festival, The Rats in the Walls, The Shadow over Innsmouth, Colour out of Space   Hate Mail   Check out some of the best Hate Tweets that are doing their best at hurting Kyle and Ethan’s feelings.    Subscriber Lounge   Behind the Scenes Update of the Studio being installed Updates on the Babylon Bee Book being sent out Kyle and Ethan read from the mailbag about their experiences with Christian Worship music Bonus hate mail from a reader that discourages Lebron wearing Lace to Basketball games Exclusive cool Ethan and Kyle stories  Email your cool stories for subscriber exclusive reading to podcast@babylonbee.com